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Of Constantine and caravans

Jeepers. I watched Arrow, because it was a Constantine crossover. (Everybody's crossing over lately. Sleepy Hollow just did it last week, with Bones (which, it turns out, is awful). And now Constantine with Arrow (which, it turns out, is awfuller). Don't even try to tell me that that isn't a word. It totally is). How does Arrow get to be on its fourth season, when Constantine didn't even make it to one full one?! It was like watching amateur hour. Still, it did show up nicely how great a character John Constantine is. I shall now procede to sulk in the corner over good TV that doesn't get what it deserves.

Actually no I won't, because there was another reason for posting. The Long, Long Trailer! This means absolutely nothing to anybody, I know, but it's a 1954 film starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, and is basically I Love Lucy: The Movie. They don't play Lucy and Ricky, but they might as well do. It's about a married couple who buy a caravan instead of a house, and decide to see America before settling down. Of course it's an absurdly long one, and leads to much caravan-based hilarity. It's not as good as I Love Lucy, as the writing isn't so snappy; and also it's a movie, so Desi didn't have creative control. Retakes, for goodness sakes! It's far less fun when you can't see him giggling. Desi knew this; Hollywood apparently didn't. It's still good fun though. All the same, it's hampered by one particular failing. It's in colour. I've seen both Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in colour before, so I'm not hugely traumatised by the experience, but in Desi's case not until his guest appearance in Ironside in the seventies (I love that episode. More than it should probably be allowed to love an episode of Ironside). And seeing them both together, in colour, in the midst of the ILL era, just looks weird. Boy did they want to make the most of the colour, too:

Yikes. And that's a heck of a way to drive a car! Especially when you're towing a forty foot, three ton caravan. I know it's 1954, but they had traffic accidents then too. Although at one point they speak of 35mph like it's a terrifying turn of speed, so possibly they only had really slow accidents. Anyway, sorry. This was an entirely pointless post. But if anybody out there is in charge of television even a little bit, now that we've conclusively proved that Constantine is much better than Arrow, can we have it back please? I'll be very good.* Honest I will.**

Okay, now I shall procede to sulk in the corner over good TV that doesn't get what it deserves.


* This is a lie.

** So is this.


( 15 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
Nov. 6th, 2015 08:32 pm (UTC)
Arrow is a terrible show. I suffered through not quite three seasons of it for a friend's sake, and finally called it quits. Haven't missed it, and the crossover ep (which I watched only for Constantine) reminded me why I never got into it. But I loved how many Arrow fans loved John Constantine! Some part of me still hopes that they'll give him another chance, or at least stick him in one of their other superhero shows (not Arrow, though, I can't watch that, even for him, again). I miss Constantine so much, though.

Aw, The Long Long Trailer!! <3 I love that movie so much. It was a childhood favorite and I still watch it often.
Nov. 7th, 2015 04:56 am (UTC)
I had a hunch you might have seen it! :) It is good. Ridiculous, obviously, but in a good way. Nice to see Desi getting the chance to have an equal share in the physical comedy too. I know he was happy playing second fiddle to Lucy on TV, but it's good to see him getting a better shot at the action. I love that shower scene.

Constantine went down well with the "Arrow" fans then? Excellent! Just a shame they couldn't have realised in time to give his own viewing figures a boost...
Nov. 7th, 2015 05:33 am (UTC)
Definitely! :D

Seems like it! I've seen quite a lot of Arrow fans on tumblr getting interested (and a couple who want to watch Constantine now). Yeah, it is. :/
Nov. 7th, 2015 07:46 am (UTC)
I hear there's a Justice League TV show coming up, so Constantine might find a place in that, even if just semi-regular. I suppose it depends on what Matt Ryan ends up doing. Damned shame the character is DC. He'd be great in SHIELD! He and Hunter could have a snark-off. ;)
Nov. 7th, 2015 07:51 pm (UTC)
That would be awesome.
Nov. 7th, 2015 05:32 am (UTC)
Not a big Constantine fan, but I don't think the insects episode helped. Eek!

How are they crossing over with discontinued shows? What kind of sense does that make anyway?
Nov. 7th, 2015 07:49 am (UTC)
"Constantine" got a lot of critical acclaim, but "failed to find an audience", so I gather they're hoping if they have him guest in other DC shows, there's hope either of getting another shot at the series with a different network, or getting to keep using the character in other shows. DC are hoping to build up a shared universe on the telly, the way that Marvel have had such success doing with TV and movies, so I guess having a character like that who can pop up anywhere is a good way of testing the waters.
Nov. 7th, 2015 09:19 am (UTC)
I have to admit I quite like Arrow, at least the first two seasons ...
Nov. 7th, 2015 12:18 pm (UTC)
Quite a lot of my online friends are "Arrow" fans! I really should give it a proper go sometime.
Nov. 7th, 2015 12:04 pm (UTC)
TV crossovers confuse me!

The colour doesn't seem that bad, but them I've been watching 'The Avengers in color': dark purple walls are not a scheme I'll be repeating at home.
Nov. 7th, 2015 12:22 pm (UTC)
I've seen a lot worse too. It's just that when you're used to seeing somebody only in b&w, and then suddenly there they are in a very red shirt, your eyes get confused. It's not a patch on terrifying 60s/70s wallpaper, certainly!

I like crossovers. I loved them as a kid ("Magnum" meets "Simon & Simon"! "Simon & Simon" meets "Whiz Kids"!), but they never did the ones I really wanted. ("The A-Team" meets "The Fall Guy"! "Simon & Simon" meets "Riptide"!) Rival TV companies are a bitch. :(
Nov. 7th, 2015 10:41 pm (UTC)
I've heard of The Long, Long Trailer, but not seen it. (Although, modern cinema advertising being what it is, I have seen some other long, long trailers...)

Back when The Pretender was still on, and Profiler was on immediately afterward, they'd occasionally do a cross-through where a couple of people from Profiler would appear on The Pretender and then a couple of people from The Pretender would appear on the same night's episode of Profiler. I always thought it was a fundamentally misconceived exercise, because they don't really have much in common apart from being vaguely "catching bad guys" type shows: very different styles, and on completely different points in the idealism-cynicism scale. That last one might be part of why I took against them so much, because the way it always seemed to go was that the Profiler writers would pick up the storyline from The Pretender and go "How can we make this more miserable and screw over whoever the audience liked in part one?"

Fortunately, I have the perfect excuse to ignore the Profiler crossovers, because they messed up one of them so badly that the two halves can't possibly exist in the same universe. In the second half, the big twist is that the murder victim faked his death; he was seen being thrown in the river, but his body was never found. Trouble is, the first half (which was by a different set of writers) begins with the body being fished out of the river, and continues with an autopsy that provides an important clue. Let's see you come back to life after that, buddy.
Nov. 8th, 2015 05:02 pm (UTC)
I've never seen "Profiler". Meant to check it out sometime, as it had an early role for Julian McMahon, who I like. But from the sounds of it I've had a lucky escape! That sounds like a really bad idea for a crossover. So was "Sleepy Hollow" and "Bones". The former is all about demons and witches, and the latter is all about science and archaeology. It was like watching a protracted conversation between Mulder and Scully; one of the really annoying ones, when Scully is being even more irrationally cynical than normal!
Nov. 8th, 2015 08:26 pm (UTC)
I missed that you'd mentioned a crossover between "Sleepy Hollow" and "Bones". That is a terrible, terrible idea. That's the kind of crossover where you'd have to cheat desperately to avoid completely derailing one or both shows.

(I'm reminded of why Moffat has said he'll never do a crossover between "Sherlock" and "Doctor Who", despite the obvious temptation: there's no way to show Sherlock Holmes a world full of alien visitors and time travellers and then have him carry on as if nothing had happened, so they'd never be able to make a normal episode of "Sherlock" again.)
Nov. 9th, 2015 05:15 am (UTC)
As I understand it, both "Sleepy Hollow" and "Bones" are struggling in the ratings, so it probably looked like a good bit of publicity for both of them. Any publicity is good publicity I guess.
( 15 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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