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The Last Supper

The dread clip show. Yes, I know all series made in Canada have them at some point, but that doesn't mean that they should ever be tolerated. Every one of them should be hunted down and killed, then melted in acid. Then killed again. Probably along with anybody responsible for okaying them in the first place. And the guy who first invented them.

I do not like clip shows. Sticking bits of rubbish plot in between the clips does not make the situation any better. The bloody things remain the curse of television. But anyway.

Harrison and co are in a bus, heading for a secret location in Philadelphia.

Cheltenham Secondary School?! There's no such place. I went to school in Cheltenham, I'd have noticed. Cheltenham's not in Philadelphia, either. I'd definitely have noticed that. If it had been, the bus ride would have been considerably longer.

Harrison and co have been summoned to a meeting of world experts on alien events, and other assorted weird goings-on. Probably for reasons of budget, it's a very small global meeting.

We have one delegate each from the USSR (just one?!) and Brazil.

One from Australia and one from... I don't know. Somewhere else.

And one from Africa (they have one expert from the whole of Africa?! How did Africa even agree on appointing one person for the whole continent? Let alone the fact that having one person in charge of investigating a whole bloody continent is insane) and one from China.

America on the other hand gets three representatives, and they will naturally be doing all of the talking.

Space, says Norton, very helpfully. It's where the aliens come from.

Here they are invading Earth. I don't think we're supposed to ask how they've come by a piece of footage showing the aliens invading Earth. Maybe the aliens gave it to them.

The aliens, still invading. Just in case somebody watching hasn't realised that aliens from another planet need first to arrive on Earth from another planet in order to do their invading.

We then hit a barrage of clips from the 1953 movie.

This is good, because the 1953 movie had a budget, something that the TV series has never had. Pretty machines! Space ships! Entire cities laid to waste! Hurrah!

Harrison muses on how this is Not A Good Thing.

Oh, all right. Sorry Harrison.

There are more clips. Many, many clips. The delegates watch them. Poor sods, they have no fast forward button.

Suzanne demonstrates how an alien can take over a human, through her amazing footage of triangles and circles.

She also has a cool presentation of what aliens look like when they're not inside people. When they are inside people they're undetectable, she then claims rather dramatically. Except they're not, because they're very soon covered in radiation sores, and start to rot. Also they're wildly radioactive, and cause Geiger counters to go crazy. Information like this is clearly not considered important enough to share with the world community.

Ironhorse lurks in the background, keeping an eye on the Russian delegate. He is wearing his "There are Russians present" face.

A Russian! Look, a Russian! He has information that there is an alien among them.

Everybody places themselves in camera friendly formations to ponder over this piece of news, in between clips of stuff from previous weeks, just in case we've forgotten what aliens are already.

Then six massive trucks smash their way through the front gates.

Ironhorse thinks he heard something. Six massive trucks smashing through the front gates, probably.

There is gunfire.

There is more gunfire. There are six massive trucks full of aliens, so quite a lot of gunfire is needed.

Ironhorse gathers his troops, in their subtle, carefully camouflaged uniforms that in no way make them an easy target for aliens at all.

Inside, the Russian delegate reveals that he's actually from the Russian secret service, and has a gun. Hooray! One spy with a pistol is bound to tip the odds in the good guys' favour.

There is yet more gunfire.

Harrison uses his tuning fork to come up with a plan. He announces that the best thing to do is to surrender, in order to talk with the aliens.

This has the desired effect of getting the alien amongst them to reveal her hand.

There are dramatic chords, along with some quite dramatic looking at each other. Then the woman grabs an unloaded gun and dies, which seems to be the deciding move of the whole battle.

There's a bit more gunfire, but the six massive truck loads of aliens are apparently all dead now, or something. They've given up, the script writers gave up, I don't know. I don't care. It's all over, anyway.

For now, muses Harrison. Until next time. There is further dramatic music, and further dramatic looking at each other. The end. Whatever.

Do not bother me with clip shows again, television. I do not want them. Thank you.


( 6 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
Feb. 15th, 2012 08:48 pm (UTC)
America on the other hand gets three representatives, and they will naturally be doing all of the talking


I always hated clip shows, and I know they are basically just terrible still, but Riptide's clip show is the one where they are also being sad and bitter about Moonlighting in the most poignant perfect meta-tastical way, and it's sort of the best episode of anything ever, and if you round it up and kill it and melt it in acid I will round you up and . . . stare crossly at you for a long time. Apart from that, carry on.
Feb. 16th, 2012 10:25 am (UTC)
I had forgotten that one. I don't think it was included when Channel 5 repeated the show. Which was probably them being nice, and thank you Channel 5, but that might actually be the one clip show worth seeing.

Poor Riptide. I used to love Moonlighting back then, but I got a DVD set of it a while back, and I couldn't watch it at all. It seems awful now. So maybe Cody and Nick get the last laugh after all.
Feb. 16th, 2012 10:35 am (UTC)
I used to love Moonlighting back then, but I got a DVD set of it a while back, and I couldn't watch it at all. It seems awful now.

Exactly this! That happened to me as well. It's TERRIBLE, I don't know what people liked about it. Even though I do really love Cybill Shepherd I can't watch it. They should totally have made more Riptide instead. Even though season 3 of Riptide is a bit sad.
Feb. 16th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC)
It did used to seem good, honest. I adored Moonlighting as a kid. That "as a kid" bit may be telling, though.

I am bad on which Riptide episode is which, but I do remember falling out of love with it in season three a bit, when they killed off Quinlan. There was the pirate episode that year, though. And that one when they were stuck in a little town where everybody kept beating Cody up, as they thought he was somebody else. So season three wasn't too sad.
Feb. 15th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
LOL. I like that comment above. America has tons of dreaded clip shows too, so cleverly disguised as sniveling at photo albums, court trials (arrh Voyagers!) telling your story to some big dirty trucker as you carelessly hitch hike home in a blizzard for the holidays and so on…I can't stand them either. Unless it incorporates years back, and not 5 episodes back. ughhh. Oh there's everybody's favorite stock Chinese actor!-James Hong, even though he's born in Minneapolis, Minnesota…
Feb. 16th, 2012 10:22 am (UTC)
The "Voyagers!" one was particularly annoying - as with "War Of The Worlds" - because there'd only been one season. They could at least wait until they've got three or four years worth of clips to refer back to! It's like in daytime soaps where they have flashbacks to something that happened ten seconds ago. I'll admit my memory isn't great, but it's not that bad...
( 6 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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