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The Good Samaritan

Another rather dull episode. We seem to have hit a slow patch mid-season. There's a lot more going on in this one than there was in the last one, and it picks up nicely towards the end, but the beginning and middle are pretty interminable. Nice idea all the same, but it does rather back itself into a corner plotwise. Someday these aliens are going to have to explain to me why they keep failing to take over the world, when it continually looks like they can't go wrong. I'm beginning to think they don't really want the Earth. They're just pretending to invade for something to do.

Alien chefs at a diner.

Alien chicken soup! Actually it's probably pretty ordinary chicken soup. They're adding deadly deadly poison, though.

This leads to writhing.

And the traditional very bad CPR. The aliens have a biological weapon to use against the humans, and they are going to be gloating about this all episode.

It's that bloke who used to be in Airwolf! The one who wasn''t drunk or Ernest Borgnine. He's grown his eye back, which is nice. He's also found a way to cure world hunger with a new super grain. He's planning on selling it rather than giving it away though, so he can't be that keen on saving the world.

Somehow he's also finding time to have an affair with his secretary, along with every other woman in the vicinity. This turns out to be a lot more deadly than you might expect.

Harrison's quirk of the week. Turns out he doesn't like gambling, but he likes the mental challenge. So he bets theoretically, and wins thousands every week. Theoretically.

Ironhorse is predictably annoyed by this, in between struggles with a Rubik cube.

Suzanne's just annoyed with her work, as it's really hard to build biological weapons that only kill aliens. Norton suggests that she speak to the super scientist guy who used to be in Airwolf, although he might have used a name.

Harrison saves Ironhorse from the deadly Rubik cube of doom.

Meanwhile a trio of alien little old ladies begin to home in on Airwolf guy. His super grain is the best way to spread their super poison around the world. Infecting one bowl of chicken soup at a time is no way to take over a planet.

For the remainder of this episode, Ironhorse will be flirting wildly with Harrison. Possibly it was the Rubik cube that did it.

Flirt flirt flirt.

Suzanne tries to make a big entrance, ready for a date with the bloke from Airwolf, but the guys are far too wrapped up in each other to be impressed by her new outfit.

So she goes off and tries to talk shop with the sex mad scientist instead. He tells her grand tales of his wondrous grain, which will cure world hunger by being radiation resistant. It will still grow even after the inevitable oncoming nuclear war. That's cheerful. And also nonsense, because even if it'll grow, surely it'll still be radioactive and therefore poisonous? Anyway, he refuses to help, but does offer flirting.

By now the episode has slowed to a snail's pace. And I'm sorry, but if I'm going to be watching flirting and brandy, I want it to involve Stefano and John. The aliens apparently agree, because they take over an army's worth of Airwolf guy's mistresses, and then snag him when he goes round to see one for a night cap.

Alien!Airwolf guy then introduces a slew of diagonal alien scientists into his super grain project.

The deadly diagonal scientists begin to infect the super grain with the super poison.

Meanwhile the show briefly remembers that Suzanne has a daughter, and also that the project has a Norton. Given where her brief injection of plot takes her, Suzanne's daughter may soon wish she'd just been forgotten about again.

Elsewhere, Ironhorse is still flirting with Harrison, this time over breakfast.

Seriously, who dresses for breakfast? Suzanne reports back on her date, and when she says it was a wash out, Ironhorse suggests that she go back and try playing along a bit more with the sex games. Nice one, Ironhorse.

So she does, but by now Airwolf guy has also turned diagonal. Things are getting serious.

Ironhorse, meanwhile, is still with the flirting. Pack in it, man. You're supposed to be on duty.

Suzanne could make no headway with her own flirting, and comes back with the news that the diagonal scientists are planning to give the super grain away free to whoever wants it. She's stolen a bit, to see if it can help her research, but all it does is kill her daughter's beloved pet mouse. Realising that it's lethal, Suzanne calls the lab to tell them.

But the secretary who delivers the message doesn't get quite the answer she'd expected.

Ironhorse, meanwhile, embarks on his weekly insistence that it's not aliens, of course not, why on earth would you be suggesting that, Harrison.

Then Norton points out that actually it's aliens. This means disguises!

And sinister aliens lurking in doorways.

And other places.

There's an alien after you, Harrison!

Yeah. Sorry. This is an exciting scene where Harrison nearly gets dragged through a door by an alien, but we only see it through its eyes, so it doesn't look all that dramatic. Mostly it's just blotchy, really. Harrison doesn't think to shout for help at all, so the struggle goes on for quite a long time, until he grabs hold of a scalding hot pipe and says ow. Then Ironhorse comes running.

Alien calamari?

Harrison gets some revenge by steam-bathing another alien.

The director this week clearly has a diagonal fetish.

Somewhat ineffective stand-off. Followed by a somewhat ineffective chase.




Harrison muses that it's a victory of sorts, but he's sure they're overlooking something.

Whilst the aliens gloat that they managed to set sail with three other huge cargo ships before Team: Blackwood stopped the fourth. Also they can still make more super poison whenever they want. So this'll be the last episode then? Unless they've conveniently forgotten all about the poison by next week. Gee, I wonder which it'll be.

No I don't.

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