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Thunder In Paradise #10

"Queen of Hearts", then, and many years ago Not Evil Anymore Uncle Edward was in the Royal Navy. Having survived a surefire suicide mission, he is now, fifty years on, being given a medal for bravery. By the queen. Yes, the real one. She has, for reasons that will remain forever unclear, decided to come all the way to Paradise to hang a medal around the neck of a Formerly Evil expatriate hotelier who doesn't want it anyway. Uncle Edward's intransigence is the least of Her Majesty's concerns, however. By quite some way.

Elsewhere in Paradise, there are other new arrivals. One is a monster trucks exhibition, and one is The World's Most Obvious Ne'er Do Well. The former is basically an excuse for lots of growling, smashing, crashing, bashing and shouting, which is fine, obviously. Oh, but there's more, though. The monster trucks exhibition also features a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur. Can life get any better than the presence of a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur? It's hard to imagine, I know. As for the Exceedingly Obvious Crook, she turns up on the beach with her sights set on Bru, and bewitches him with a jet-ski race. Apparently if you can beat Bru in a high speed race, he's yours. She so obviously has her sights set on Thunder, though, that you have to wonder why Mr Genius doesn't spot it himself - although, given the bathing suit that she's wearing, the explanation for that may be a little obvious. Five minutes after leaving him, she's breaking into the hotel to steal the Royal Sceptre, so he might like to reconsider the relationship. Or not. The sceptre's a fake, but it's part of her Dastardly Plan to steal the real one. Life isn't easy for a visiting Royal.

Elsewhere, Spence is hearing the tale of why Uncle Edward doesn't want his medal. It seems that, because it was a suicide mission, he was blind drunk and passed out, so he survived through sheer luck. With the queen already in Paradise, however, it's too late for a change of plan now. He's having the medal whether he bloody well wants it or not, so there. Evil Bru-Baiting Jewel Thief has a plan, however. She persuades the owner of the monster trucks exhibition to gift wrap the giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur, and leave it on the beach as a present for the queen. Nobody in the Royal Entourage knows what the huge mystery present on the beach is, which is a little concerning. Hello? Security? I don't suppose that they have terrorists in Paradise, though, so presumably there's no cause for concern. Except, gosh! Just after the back of the queen's head has bestowed the medal upon Uncle Edward, the giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur blasts its way out of the gift-wrapping, and makes a beeline for the queen. In the confusion, Evil Jewel Thief switches the real sceptre for the one that she half-inched earlier, and then legs it to Thunder, which she operates using a tape of Bru's voice. Bru has seen her, however, and dashes to the rescue, using a stray piece of rope to ski-without-skis behind the boat, and eventually haul himself aboard. Evil Jewel Thief pulls a gun on him, but Soggy!Bru easily disarms her with one of his multifarious Martial Arts moves, and then it's back to shore to present a slightly singed queen with her sceptre.

All is not over, however, for Bru has been doing some research. I'm not sure quite when he had the chance, but he's done it anyway. Turns out that, far from being passed out, Uncle Edward actually managed to fend off an enemy U-Boat whilst blind drunk all those years ago, and for this act of gallantry, the queen knights him. Or the back of her head does, anyway. Having no sword handy, she uses the Royal Sceptre, which she presumably carries around with her in her handbag. Then she has a go at driving Thunder. Because what else is a visiting queen going to do? Except get menaced by a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur, obviously.

Wrestling on the beach!

An obvious jewel thief.

Told you.

It's a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur! Hurrah!

Look! The giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur breathes fire!
I like the giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur.

Uncle Edward is Not Happy.

Spence, however, is entertaining everybody by dressing in full morning attire.

The queen is coming! The queen is coming!
Impressively, they've managed to get the flag the right way up.

Look out! There's a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur on the beach!

Wrestling a giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur.

Entirely gratuitous giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur.

Battle won. I have no idea what they're gawping at so delightedly, though.
Perhaps there's another giant, fire-breathing, robot dinosaur?

Heroic Water-skiing!Bru!

The back of the queen's head knights Uncle Sir Edward with her sceptre. And a bit of a seagull.

Before taking
Thunder out for a spin.

Next up, we have what I think is my joint favourite episode (along with "Nature Of the Beast"). Swords! Pirates! Treasure! A comedy Frenchman! It's a good one, trust me.


( 4 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
Nov. 30th, 2009 12:52 pm (UTC)
I vaguely remember getting stuck watching all these episodes, must have been because I was watching that other guilty pleasure, 'Bay Watch' at the time and I just got conned into it. 'The back of the Queen's head.' LOL. After reading all your commentaries, there's no need to revisit this series!
Nov. 30th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
I only saw the first season of Baywatch. The first season had sharks and gunfights, and an exploding jeep. The other seasons just had women in tight swimming costumes running in slow motion on beaches. Frankly I preferred the sharks and the explosions. :D
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:45 pm (UTC)
True you're right about the latter seasons, I only liked the first few myself, then the original cast filtered off and I was ehh...but they always had Hasselhoff! :D
Dec. 2nd, 2009 11:32 pm (UTC)
Yes... I'm not sure if "They always had Hasselhoff!" is a great recommendation, though. :p
( 4 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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