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Thunder In Paradise #4

So, having done voodoo last time, Thunder now has to try to outdo its own splendid silliness, and to that end, in the two-parter "Sealed With A Kismet" (ouch), they manage just that. Kelly has a dream of an Arabian prince, who whisks her away to a perfect life overseas, just as, in some far away fictitious country, an Arabian prince has a dream about her. I’m not sure quite where in Arabia this fictitious country is, but it's clearly in a bit of it that's right next to Florida, because travel between the two countries appears to take half an hour. This, as it turns out, is quite convenient. Kelly's dream prince turns up in Paradise shortly after they both wake up, and she agrees to go off back home with him. Which is what one would naturally do, of course, when a complete stranger from a completely different culture turns up, and suggests marriage and a new life in his country. Getting to know each other is so passé. Bru gives Kelly an adorable mini cell phone, which will enable her to contact him at a moment's notice, because Bru is the only member of the cast brainy enough to realise that there's a fair chance this is all going to go mildly wrong. Kelly is on cloud nine, however, and is determined not to listen to reason. This being a two-parter, the director has a bit more time to play with than usual, and chooses to show us Kelly being on cloud nine in the form of a long musical montage of her and her Arabian prince going for a walk, thereby showing that some people should never be allowed within one hundred yards of a two part episode of anything.

So, Kelly goes off back to Imaginary Dream Prince Land, where – gasp! – things do not go according to plan! Well, gosh. Imaginary Dream Prince Land is caught up in a war with a neighbouring land, ruled by a ten foot tall warlord who isn't quite called Morlock, but something very similar. Imaginary Dream Prince plans to give Kelly to Morlock in marriage, thus winning the freedom of his own country. Kelly is less than enthusiastic about this, although I'm not sure that I entirely see her problem. Her plan was to run away to a strange country that she knew nothing about, and marry a strange prince that she knew nothing about, so really, what's changed? In actual fact, Morlock is considerably less wet and annoying than Imaginary Dream Prince, so in all honesty she should consider herself lucky. Strangely she doesn't, and calls home on the adorable mini cell phone, leading to Spence and Bru hurtling immediately to her rescue. Or in the morning, anyway, which is when the babysitter agrees to come and meet them. :D Then - ping! – they're in Imaginary Dream Prince Land. Just like that. There really is a secret tunnel between the two countries, isn't there. At this point, at a completely random moment in the adventure, it's the end of the episode. Fortunately for everybody, though, I'm not going to keep the world hanging, oh no. There's no breathtakingly non-exciting non-cliffhangers to worry about here. Straight on we go into episode two, which is hysterically funny from the outset. Realising that Kelly is being dragged off to a shotgun marriage, the boys try to sneak into the wedding. They do this by running through town, in full combat gear and loaded with guns, with absolutely nobody noticing. It's a crowded town square, filled with people going about their business, and not a single one of them looks up and shows surprise at the two enemy soldiers running about with Very Big Guns. At one point the boys make a token attempt to hide from some of Dream Prince's soldiers, but I don't think that there's any need. Clearly the entire town is suffering from Enemy Soldier Blindness. It's all made even more bizarre by the fact that Spence and Bru are running from hiding place to hiding place, speaking to each other in sign language, and crouching dramatically at regular intervals to point their guns at things. And still nobody throws them so much as a look. Well, somebody must, as they're netted a moment later, but clearly the local populace is oblivious.

There's still a barmaid to save, though, so breaking out of their cell following a ploy far too stupid to relate, Spence and Bru save Kelly from Morlock, and consequently free Imaginary Dream Prince Land from him too. Imaginary Dream Prince rewards this by offering a princess to Spence, and eunuchdom to Bru, which is an odd sort of thing to offer to anybody, really. Strangely enough they choose not to stick around, and escape on a magic carpet whilst blowing stuff up a lot. No, really. They do. Fully half the episode seems to consist of the escape, with vast amounts of fighting, swinging from ropes, leaping about on ladders and flagpoles, and shooting things. Mostly flower arrangements, for some reason. Then, as the end of the episode nears, they seem to decide that enough's enough, and just jump on Thunder and leave. Whilst blowing stuff up a lot, obviously. Then they get home half an hour later.

The end.

Incredibly wet dream prince.

Comedy Arab.

Kelly declining Morlock's proposal of marriage.


Breaking Into An Enemy Country 101.

Bru hides behind a pot plant. Nobody will see me behind this magical leaf!

As some soldiers approach his magical pot plant, just to be on the safe side, Bru deepens his cover.
Nobody will see me behind my hand! Spence, meanwhile, hides behind his gun.


Kelly's marriage to Morlock.

The SFX department going mildly OTT with an electrified cell door gag.
Note the prison guard flambé.

Our heroes, being Not Gay Honest.

The world's stupidest prison guard, just prior to leaving his prisoners alone with his food,
so they can check it for deadly bugs. I can't see how that could possibly end in disaster.

Dramatic Posing 101.

Wrestling with a ten foot tall evil warlord.

Entirely random Dream Bru moment.

Bru explains the science of thermal lift to Spence, in an attempt to prove that magic carpets could work.
Spence is less than convinced.

Probably with good reason.

Okay, so I lied about them escaping by magic carpet.

Obligatory dramatic techno-garble moment onboard ship.

Next up, castles, secret passages and torture chambers. And Patrick Macnee’s back, having failed to escape to something rather more sensible.

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