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Atlantis

Uh, yeah...

Remember when I mentioned potential new television? Let's just quietly forget that I said that. I'll have to be fair and give it at least another episode, but on the basis of tonight's effort that's just going to be a formality. Oh boy was it bad. I don't actually mind Hercules and Pythagoras living together on Atlantis. Actually I do, but let's pretend that I don't. What I do object to is Hercules being a giant dick, played for cheap laughs. And Pythagoras being like every other smart bloke on TV who isn't MacGyver. Sometimes smart people have muscles too. It happens, it really does. As for Jason, he could probably be a bit more bland if he really tried. Not that I was expecting something brilliant, but watchable would be a good start.

Julian Bashir was largely pointless, but then I'd expected that. He does have some potential though at least. I haven't decided yet if he's evil, but his wife clearly is. Their daughter shows every sign of being as bland as Jason, but fortunately the story is already tying them together, so they can helpfully go and be uninteresting somewhere together, thus potentially freeing up a bit of screentime for somebody else. And while I'm on the subject of Jason... If you're washed up naked after a shipwreck (and I'm sure that is possible somehow), and you decide you need to steal some clothes, you'd just take the trousers and maybe the shirt. Why in the blue blazes would you also steal the shiny belt and the big leather wristbands? It just wouldn't happen. You probably ought to leave the Doc Marten boots behind as well, on the basis that they won't be invented for another few thousand years, but I'll skirt around that one. And quite when is this show set, anyway? Atlantis sank twelve thousand years ago according to Plato, but it has to be two and a half thousand years ago if you want to have Pythagoras on it, and goodness knows about Hercules. Since he's calling himself Hercules rather than Heracles, that suggests he's been hanging out in Rome, so maybe two thousand years ago? I shouldn't be thinking about this. At any rate, Jason is from Britain in 2013, so it's not like he's going to reach for the huge leather wristbands automatically. Possibly he's just a kleptomaniac. I should move on.

It was lame. They could have saved us all a lot of bother by having Jason get eaten by the two headed lizard thingy in the marketplace. Then Pythagoras could have gone home, Hercules could have kept out of my way, and the show could have been about Alexander Siddig and his evil wife instead. And all this "You have a wonderful destiny" nonsense could have been neatly nipped in the bud. Whatever Jason's amazing destiny is, it's never going to live up to a whole series worth of foreshadowing. And since it's Jason it's unlikely to be interesting anyway.

That was a lot of words when a groan of frustrated boredom would probably have done the job just as well. I'm not sure how to type that though. I could probably figure it out with a bit of effort, but I think I'll just shut up now instead.

Comments

( 10 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
heartonsnow
Sep. 28th, 2013 11:14 pm (UTC)
Got bored of it pretty quickly, I am afraid. I only want light stuff lately, Strictly and Dara, you cannot get better!!
swordznsorcery
Sep. 29th, 2013 01:04 am (UTC)
I beg to differ! :p But I certainly agree with you about this being boring. Nice to see a brief acknowledgement of the Who anniversary before and after it though.
emeraldarrows
Sep. 28th, 2013 11:35 pm (UTC)
I love horrifically bad television so I thought it was quite fun. :D Could have been better written, for sure, but as light-hearted, aka mindless fun I quite enjoyed it. ;)
swordznsorcery
Sep. 29th, 2013 01:06 am (UTC)
I usually love bad TV too. I think I just found this too dull. I hope it does well though, as I'd hate for the BBC to get cold feet, and stop making fantasy stuff again.
profshallowness
Sep. 29th, 2013 07:56 am (UTC)
Oh dear, I quite enjoyed it. The post-Strictly mood I was in may have helped, but also what I know about Classical myths and history is all over the shop, so most of that washed over me. I decided that it wasn't on our world but an alternate universe, which also helped.

Edited at 2013-09-29 07:56 am (UTC)
elenopa
Sep. 29th, 2013 11:42 am (UTC)
They do seem to be going down the AU route with it. Gives them an 'out' with any anachronisms I suppose. Might also explain why they all speak English.

It's something to watch on Saturdays before Doctor Who comes back.
swordznsorcery
Sep. 29th, 2013 06:05 pm (UTC)
It was nice to see the very brief teasers for Who before and after the show. Hopefully there will be a proper trailer soon for the anniversary.
swordznsorcery
Sep. 29th, 2013 06:04 pm (UTC)
Perhaps I wasn't in the right mood to watch it last night! I'll certainly give it another go. It's just the sort of thing that I would usually enjoy, but something about the exeecution put me off.
liadtbunny
Sep. 29th, 2013 02:15 pm (UTC)
And the minotaur was living on Atlantis too! Erm, big Kingdom then?
swordznsorcery
Sep. 29th, 2013 06:06 pm (UTC)
And Medusa as well. Presumably we'll be getting Pegasus too before the end of the series. If it's cool, bung it in.

I'm being unfair, probably.
( 10 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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