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Goliath Is My Name

This episode is terrific. It's blatantly obviously made with no money at all, but who cares. It's like The Goonies meets Alien. In a network of tunnels beneath a university, two teams of students take part in a role-playing adventure game, whilst a team of aliens roam the same tunnels in an attempt to steal a lethal nerve gas. It does get a bit silly in places, but you'd really be hard put to care. Must admit to several moments of wanting to punch Ironhorse, though.


Alien students.


Alien students in disguise.


A team of students with laser guns, hunting aliens. Pretend ones. Or so they think.


There's a lot of torch beam choreography in this episode.


And an awful lot of lurking in shadows.


Back at Alien Fighting HQ, Harrison is doing something. I have no idea what, but it made for a nice screencap. Norton arrives to tell him that Suzanne is crying about something, so sadly Harrison must leave his shiny globe thing, because it's apparently his job to comfort Suzanne. Norton can't do that. Or he's just too sensible to try.


Harrison learns that an old student of Suzanne's has disappeared in mysterious circumstances. He immediately promises to do all that he can to help.


For some reason this involves changing his shirt. He's thorough, is Harrison. Norton hacks into something somewhere, and finds that the missing student was killed in a tunnel beneath his university. He was found with his face ripped off. I have no idea why this news appears to be making Suzanne smile.


Harrison announces that he will go to investigate. For some reason this involves changing his shirt again, apparently back to the original one. Ironhorse is furious, insisting that Harrison stay behind and do his job; clearly failing to realise that wherever Harrison goes, aliens must surely be. I guess he doesn't watch much television.


Inevitably this all leads to glaring.


The aliens, still in the tunnels. They're trying to find the laboratories, but have been given bad intelligence. Consequently they're wandering backwards and forwards underground for the first half of the episode, getting steadily more irritated. For some reason there's something very funny about a pissed off alien.


Another team of role-playing college students.


And the first team, trying to shoot them. With extra torch beam choreography.


One of the players meets an actual alien.


For the purposes of the game, this team are supposed to be deadly alien invaders.


Which I suppose makes it fitting that they get taken over by the actual deadly alien invaders.


Above ground, Harrison (who has changed his shirt yet again) arrives with Suzanne at the university, and is told that the murdered student died in an accident. Presumably he tripped, and ripped his own face off on a nail, or something. Not sure what the purpose of this scene is, unless it serves to show why these stories never get out to the general population.


Elsewhere, the aliens have given up with their maps and their rubbish information, and have taken over a gargantuan football player. He proceeds to find them the laboratories by blasting through every door until he gets there. This proves very effective.


Whilst stealing three vials of deadly nerve gas, he manages to break one. It instantly melts human brains, but alien-human hybrid brains melt in slow motion. Forgetting who he is, he gathers up the still human role-playing team, and attempts to continue the game; this time with real weapons.


Ironhorse has turned up to 'help'. This mostly involves yelling about how there are no aliens involved in this, Harrison. No aliens at all.


Oh. Except that one.


The rest of the students are not very happy about running around in dark tunnels with a clearly insane former friend; especially a clearly insane former friend with vials of nerve gas. Sadly for them, that's the worst kind of friend to try to argue with.


The team find the role-playing society's underground lair, and hack into their computer. By a series of remarkable leaps of logic, they realise what's going on, and theorise that they're dealing with one, lone, melting-brained alien.


Harrison plays with his tuning fork. Fairly pointlessly, but he hasn't done anything very weird all episode, so I suppose they had to stick something in.


There are no aliens here, Harrison. None at all. Not any more. All gone. Forget the aliens.


You're kidding, right?


Ironhorse promptly walks into an entire army of aliens, and has to admit that, once again, he was completely and utterly wrong about everything. He then pulls out a bloody great gun, and wastes the lot of them.


Then announces that none of them were carrying any glass vials of deadly nerve gas. Just as well! That man's more dangerous than the aliens are.


Harrison, who has realised what game the students are all playing, and is a fan of it himself, has a plan. He'll deliver himself into the hands of the alien, under cover of the game's rules of truce - and then wait and see what happens. Good plan, Harrison.


Hi. Can I interest you in surrendering at all?


Grr.


The alien chases Harrison through the tunnels and back up above ground. Fortunately for Harrison, the alien mostly runs in slow motion.


Even so, Harrison has to steal a random bicycle in order to get away. Still, on the plus side, he's making his desperate bid for survival in a very nice garden, and in lovely weather.


Harrison manages to lead the alien into a containment facility in one of the labs, then locks him in. The alien has super-melting-brain strength, though, and begins to smash his way out again. Suzanne sees only one choice. Before he and his deadly nerve gas can get out - although goodness knows he's had plenty of opportunity to use the stuff yet, and hasn't bothered - she sucks all the air out of the room.


Somehow this causes the alien to swell up and explode. Even mass-murdering pacifist Harrison looks green over that one.


Ironhorse, however, clearly thinks it was the Best Thing Ever.


Whilst back at Alien HQ, a lone survivor of the operation reports his failure, and is led away to suffer the consequences. Because what better way to ensure victory than to start killing your own men, when you've got limited supplies to begin with?

For all their claims of superiority, these aliens are clearly about on the same tactical level as Ironhorse. Maybe he's not such a bad person to be helping Harrison and co after all. I do wish he'd stop denying the presence of aliens every week, though. Wake up, Ironhorse. The enemy doesn't cease to exist just because you don't want to believe in them. That only works with fairies and pots of leprechaun gold.

Comments

( 2 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
ladygretchen
Jan. 28th, 2012 06:15 am (UTC)
LOL. Great review/commentary on this one. Oh, it's the magical shirt that goes back and forth. I love the Men in Black/Blues Brothers aliens. hahaha. You always need one person to consistently deny the existence of anything every week regardless of the proof being right in their face. :P
swordznsorcery
Jan. 29th, 2012 12:24 pm (UTC)
There's always somebody who refuses to believe, yes. They're always annoying, though! It's the equivalent of having Phineas have to persuade Jeffrey that they really have travelled in time, every single episode. Eventually it just leaves you wishing for a machine gun!
( 2 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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