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Vampiresville

Initial impressions of True Blood, based on the first three episodes.

The theme song is awesome. I don't know that I've ever encountered a more well chosen, fitting theme. However the visuals that accompany it are nauseating to the point of utter revulsion, and are so going on fast-forward. It's a shame, as that's rather a nice song, but no way, no how, am I watching that every time. *shudder*

The hero's name is Bill. Yes, Bill. Somebody actually decided to have a big, brooding, cool vampire hero... and then name him Bill. Somebody has a twisted sense of humour. Heroes are supposed to be called Steve or Rajesh or Jack. Not Bill!

Jason Stackhouse is probably one of the most ghastly characters I've ever seen on a TV show. What a pathetic, snivelling, ghastly little oik he is. I'm seriously impressed by the performance. I want him to die horribly, but in the meantime, I can't deny that the actor is doing a good job.

Bill. Three episodes in, and the hero is still named Bill. Bill.

Sam the bartender is a werewolf. I've decided. This is mostly based on the fact that he barks in his sleep, and has a thing for scents. Also, he has a strange affinity for dogs. Admittedly that last one doesn't actually mean anything, though, or it would presumably make me a werecat. And my sister a werehorse. But still. He's a werewolf, I've decided.

Actually, that doesn't work, does it. The 'were' bit is male, so I can't write "My sister would be a werehorse". That would be inaccurate. Something else then, that means the same. Sheesh, genders are complicated. Axe them. Now.

Sorry, that bit was irrelevant.

Tara rocks. Seriously, she's brilliant. I think I'd want to slap her pretty soon if I actually knew her, but I don't, so that's okay. I want to punch her cousin, though. He thinks he's cool, but he isn't. Also, he's a bundle of annoying stereotypes. He may grow on me. We shall see.

Bill's friends! Bill's friends are awesome! Especially the woman. And Malcolm. Love Malcolm. :) Evil vampires with attitude! Also, I like that he's the hero, but his friends are still evil. Except he doesn't seem to like them very much, so maybe they're not his friends; but he hangs out with them and has sex with them and stuff anyway. Orgies are required, apparently, if you're a vampire.

Just checking. Nope, he's still called Bill.

The heroine has a silly name too, but for some reason it matters less with her. Possibly because she's a little kooky. A weird name suits her. Heroes, however, should not be called Bill. They just shouldn't. And yes, I shall shut up about this now. ;)

Bill gets the most hilarious entrance of any hero ever. Lights dim. The camera goes into Sudden Zoom Mode. It's practically a dolly zoom. Background sounds zip away. There he is, in some shadows, brooding with menace. It's hysterical. He practically has lights on his head, reading "I Am The Hero, Watch Me Brood." Then he introduces himself as Bill, and the spell kind of gets broken.

Sorry. I said that I'd shut up about that.

I like True Blood. It's fun. It's full of good personalities, and unexpected funny bits. There's too much sex, though. Gets boring after a while. Also, most of it is down to Jason Stackhouse, who's still pathetic and ghastly, and he looks like he waxes his chest. Put some clothes on, Jason, and go away.

I may go and watch episode four now. It's looking at me. Also, it's called "Escape From Dragon House", which is several shades of irresistable. I very much doubt there'll be actual dragons, though. Just vampires. And a Possibly Werewolf.

True Blood is good. I highly recommend it. Well - unless you're squeamish, I guess. Then I'd still recommend it, obviously, but from a safe distance, and with a wicked smile. ;)

Comments

( 3 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )
zigsternenstaub
Jul. 24th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC)
Granted, Tarantino did make make one of the most kickass assassin characters of all time and call him Bill (not a hero, no but a serious character of great hubris and mystery). And it somehow really worked. I suppose because despite being so kickass, he was very understated.

Is this a new show, btw? Or something that you're watching on DVDs?
swordznsorcery
Jul. 24th, 2009 09:21 pm (UTC)
Season one is now out on DVD. Season two I believe is currently airing in the States.

I am watching it by, er... another route. *cough*
zigsternenstaub
Jul. 25th, 2009 04:14 am (UTC)
I am watching it by, er... another route. *cough*

Naturally. ;P
( 3 fierce growls — Growl fiercely )

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