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Mini Simon. That's really quite remarkable. They actually have shrunk Sean Maher to film this scene. Either that or they showed remarkable foresight, and filmed this when he was a kid. You can see the Father Issues coming a mile away, though, can't you. Everybody in the Whedonverse has Father Issues. Still, annoying flashbacks aside, this is shaping up well. Anything that promises to focus on Simon and River has to be good. Lose the made up swear words though, Joss. They're lame.

Ouch. Malcolm's crimes against humanity never cease, do they. "Hurling about things"?! Okay, we get that he's a bad guy. Does he have to murder the language as well?! And those aren't "cuss words", they're tongue-twisters.

Cowpats really don't sound like that when you step in them. Not unless there's somebody sitting in an editing suite, adding in comedy squelching noises. Which doesn't tend to happen in a field in the middle of nowhere.

Okay. Secret-herd-of-cow jokes are good too. Nearly as good as buffet table jokes. Oh, are we going shopping? Please keep Kaylee away from the dresses.

No, it's a duck.

Oh, way to go Simon. Insult the only good member of the crew. Mind you, whatever the hell it was he just said in annoying-swear-word-language, he's right, Kaylee. I appreciate that you like the ship, but it's rubbish. It doesn't have any lights.

Hey, Firefly is on Sunset Beach time! It's dusk at the gunfight, and sunny at the dance! Just how far did Simon and River walk?! Nonsensical moments like that are always appreciated.

Okay, now there's a bit of plot involving trying to save the life of the preacher bloke, who then turns out to be not what he said he was, but since absolutely nobody else in the show tells the truth, I don't get why they're so surprised about this. And it's less interesting than what Simon and River are getting up to anyway, so skipping over that... Kidnapsville is rather good. River has a terrific scene with Ruby, the little mute girl. Simon and River really are great characters. If the whole show was about them, I'd be a fan, no worries. This is a lovely bit of plot development, just as the whole planet-side adventure has been for these two. From River's dancing, to her realisation that Book has been shot; her sweet gesture with the berries and her moment of lucidity. Terrific. More of this, Joss. Less Jayne.

Uh-oh. Bible-quoting. Still, devil-purging sounds good. Okay, so it means burning River alive, but on the upside, at least there'll be some light. And Simon is excellent here. Ready to burn to death with River because he knows he can't save her. Mind you, they overdo the Father Issues thing at the end. I'll overlook that, though, as there was some genuinely good stuff in this episode. Since "Jaynestown" is looming on the horizon, though, I feel sure that it's not about to suddenly turn into the Simon And River Show. More's the pity.

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